Porta....

I know they are called Portajohns and we've all frequented them at races from Maine to Alaska, Hawaii to Puerto Rico and presumably everywhere in between. Although we haven't run a race in any of those places yet, we know when we get there, the races will certainly provide portajohns!  The point is, I know their real name, porta-john, or outhouse, for the redneck or country folk like myself. Nonetheless, I have gone and renamed them porta"God"s and it is meant as a compliment, not as an inappropriate use of the Lord's name.  Here is how this came to be and I by no stretch of the imagination expect my other half (Mird) to support this! Today is all crazy Vern!   Mird is innocent and sane!


A couple weeks ago I was waiting in the frigid, windy, cold for the start of the  231 Race.  Dressed in nothing more than a tank top and shorts, I was possibly inappropriately dressed for the day's breezy, brisk, autumn weather. Many people expressed concern for the combination of my outfit and the ambient air temperature. They were concerned of the possibility of frost bite on my extremities on this particular outing. However, I felt pretty good about my attire because it was 44 degrees out and I always dress tank top and shorts for any temperatures above 40;  The way I figured it, I had 4 degrees to spare!

Anyhow given that I was dressed so scantily and the weather was so very bitter cold, I of course needed to go to the bathroom, pre-race style, so I waited in "the line" anxiously bouncing around until it was my turn.  When I was finally up, I sat there on a very unsanitary space, in a very unsanitary place, praying to God to help me get through my latest running commitment (23.1 Kilometers in cold, windy weather possibly inappropriately dressed) both alive and relatively unharmed.  And in that moment I had an epiphany.  Portajohns are my God place. I know it sounds crazy, but to me they are like Church.  I talk to God A LOT in portajohns oftentimes at races, but occasionally at other places as well. I TALK TO HIM A LOT PEOPLE. I probably pray more in portajohns than I do anywhere else on earth to be completely honest. And in these moments of prayer in disgusting portajohns across the great country, I do in fact feel supported and a sense of peace and tranquility come over me.  God shows up-- even in portajohns!  He shows up! And that is why I am going to start calling them PortaGods.  They are essentially gross little portals providing access to His great power and wisdom. It is AWESOME!  For me, PortaGods are the next best thing to dressing up and heading to church on Sunday.

After writing this I feel I should possibly do this...

throw on a portajohn and run a race. I'd be chasing down God in my God place!

PS I was totally warm enough so all you skeptics were wrong, Wrong,WRONG!

That is all,
Vern out