My mom always said,

"No matter how far or wide you roam, remember there's truly no place like HOME."  In fact she wrote those very words on a journal she gave me back in the day when I was supposed to be leaving for two years to serve in the Peace Corps, but that's another story for another day. We probably need a bottle of wine and a couple hours to tackle that one.

Back up to that moment a few seconds ago when you read the words, "no place like HOME", and I'll bet your mind drifted to Kansas and more specifically to The Wizard of Oz.  If not, too bad because Kansas is precisely where the sisters headed this weekend to get our next state off our "to run" list and it is exactly where this story is headed.  While we had the most awesome-est time and made so many amazing memories, I think we all agree there's no place like home.  I could be wrong, but I think it's a mom thing.  I think generally moms always need to get back home because they miss their families (kids) and need to make sure their husbands didn't lose any kids or burn down the house!

 Anyhow, you know what else is a mom thing?  Packing enouch snacks for a 3 day road trip to feed a large African village for a very, very, long time!  What can I say other than we were going to Kansas to run a marathon and we knew it was going to be an 11 hour road trip each way.  Also, we all love to snack and apparently we all hate to feel hungry.  Add this all up and this truly was a recipe for a serious snack packing situation. Once we figured out the the proper packing configuration to securely fit all of our snacks (and all of my running shoes) into Mird's car (think Tetris from back in the day), we were off!  The drive was fairly uneventful which is a good thing on an 11 hour road trip. Eleven hours is a long time so a lot could have gone wrong and nothing did. We spent our time getting to know one another and catching up, joking about the race, researching interesting facts about Kansas and obviously snacking.  Did you know Kansas claims to be home to the largest ball of string in the world? Of course so do several other place, but still they say it's really big!

Anyhow, I just have to say something, "Mird, we're not in Kansas anymore!" (haha)  But 24 hours ago, that's precisely where we were-- We were in Ottawa, Kansas on our latest traveling running shoes adventure. The original plan for this one was made about two years ago when our friend Teresa was marathon shopping and wanted to do her first ever marathon. It was a super big deal.  The marathon had to be a fall marathon and she also wanted to go on one of our sister trips with us. We shopped around for a LONG time and finally landed on the Rails to Trails Ultra Marathon Extravaganza in Ottawa Kansas and signed up.  Like a week after, Mird and I received an invite to a family wedding so we emailed the race director and deferred for a year.  So we were supposed to run the race last October, I guess time flies when you're having fun or when your busy raising teenagers, trying to preserve your sanity, and have a full-time job.  To add to the craziness to this trip, Kara's brakes went out on her car the day before we were leaving so I had to leave my van for her and Mird's car was called to duty. Her new car performed well under pressure. Also we called in runner reinforcements-- aka Becky, the gym teacher at my school.  She's pretty much awesomesauce on steroids not that I am saying she uses steroids because she totally doesn't.  She says no to drugs!  She's an amazing runner though and super fun to hang out with too so she was a great addition to our adventure! More on Becky later... 

We drove. Drove some more. And then kept driving because apparently Kansas is a long ways from Michigan. So when we hit the Kansas border it was kind of a big deal because we'd been driving for what felt like FOREVER.  

 Alas, we kept driving because we still had a couple hours to get to our hotel.  Once we arrived to the Comfort Inn in Ottawa Kansas we dropped off our stuff and despite the fact that we'd been snacking for 11 hours straight, we headed to dinner at a local place called the Prime Time Grille because it sounded amazing and we were in fact starving!   It was pretty amazing and we captured this cool picture of us with the Kansas flag!

Kansas Flag and our crew

Cheers to Us!

Over dinner we all shared our stories of how we met our husbands. It was comical and I added a grand finale of the story of our first kiss. If you've not heard it you have to run with me and I will share it otherwise you will have to be nice to the crew and see if one of them will share it with you.  We also attempted chiropractic care along the course of this journey because some of us are pretty beat up and our chiropractor was busy running an ultra marathon in Mexico so she couldn't come with us!  

Just call me Dr. Vern!

 Now back to Becky. Becky, AKA the gym teacher at Shettler Elementary where I teach, decided a few months back to come with us because she is on a mission even crazier than ours known as the 50 states challenge.  This means, Becky is running a marathon in all 50 states and Kansas would be her 22nd state! As fate would have it Becky is also now the 2023 female winner of the Rails to Trails Marathon in Ottawa Kansas!!!  That's right after an eleven hour car ride-- with us-- a crappy night's sleep in a Comfort Inn bed snuggled up with Teresa, and a lousy breakfast, Becky went ahead and won the marathon by over 25 minutes. Can you say, "Awesomesauce on steroids"?!  While Becky was busy overachieving and being absolutely incredible, I found myself underachieving, but oddly enough still being awesome so it was okay.  The weather was way colder than I packed for and I just had the rough race at GR Marathon 13 days prior which had shaken my confidence so given that my hands were already painfully cold by mile 2 and I couldn't even open my water bottle, I decided to downgrade from the marathon to the half marathon. Yes you heard me right, I cut my race in half which is why I said I was "underachieving". However, I was simultaneously busy being awesome because I got 2nd overall female in the half marathon so I totally pushed it, ran super fast, and did awesome for half the distance I was supposed to run...I've never done that before-- downgraded for a race during the race, but in this instance I feel it was absolutely the right decision. Had I run the entire marathon, I likely would be immobilized today, or possibly hospitalized, or even dead. Instead I feel awesome today and will be ready for the next running adventure when it presents itself.     

Pre Race Photo!

Mird, Vern, Teresa and Becky                    

race stats

We did it! Also we were a bunch of winners!!

I forgot to start the Runkeeper app when we took off so I don't have the entire race stored, but you get the idea, I killed it!

Race shirts and selfies a solid combination!

We worked on our selfie skills with the ten second timer for a long time before we hit the hot tub and sauna. I think we finally nailed it with this one!

Since I am on day 1075 streak of consecutive days running, I dragged my butt out of bed at 4:30 Sunday morning and ran a Quincy Illinois 5K. It was once again raining lightly and it was 38 degrees out so it pretty well sucked, but I got it done...the streak goes on!

So then we had to head home which the drive went smoothly and we also just enjoyed the adventure. I am extremely thanksful for our crew of 4. We were the Fabulous Four!!! Oh yeah I almost forgot, in addition to killing it at the race, we went on an outing to Thriftopia which was like a Goodwill only not as cool because there was a Nazi like lady at the checkout line interrogating us about the Kansas sweatshirts we were trying to buy for our souvenirs.  If that Nazi lady had her way, we would have paid full new sweatshirt prices for old ratty sweatshirts encased in doghair with holes in the sleeves, but we are not suckers.  No we are not; we negotiated and ended up in these clothes for $5 or less...Also Mird earned a trip to the BONUS ROOM which was epic and yielded a puzzle shaped like a buffalo or something.  Also Teresa bought a questionable looking pair of Perry shoes which was somewhat disturbing, but also awesome. I guess it depends on your take on germs and used shoes.  Personally, I think it was the steal of the day!  

At the hotels, we also took lessons on how to make Bulletproof Coffee, had a few drinks, were hit on my lesbians, and stole a couple of snacks. Best of allm Teresa served as our own personal dietician/health consultant so we are all ready to take on healthy eating with a new zest. I believe it was revolutionary for us all! 

thrift shop divas

Vern and Mird Ottawa Kansas Rails to Trails Half Marathon...

The sisters trying to avoid freezing to death after the race in our new thrift shop wardrobes...

PS Mird and Teresa want it noted that they lost all feeling in all of their extremities during this race. While I would like to be recognized for running back out in the fricking cold windy and wet weather to run everyone in even if I did take a pitstop at the Holiday Inn!  

PPSAnd remember no matter how far you roam, there really is no place like home!  This squash was from the Mellema Farm Market which we visited as soon as we arrived home so that we could all take fresh produce home for dinner...

PPPS what does this squash look like? 

Vern out

Lucky number 5

 This time when me and my traveling running shoes headed out the door, we didn't have far to travel--just to Grand Rapids. Unfortunately, Mird had to work today so she was not in on this adventure and fortunately Teresa talked me into running GR marathon "with her" (more on that later) so I didn't have to go solo.  Now that I've had an afternoon to reflect on the marathon experience, I have a positive view on the entire thing.  Here's how it all went down...

First of all, if the early morning pre-race experience had been an indicator of the race that was to follow, I would have believed I was going to PR by several minutes and been drinking a beer before noon.  Yes, despite leaving a few minutes behind our planned time to head to the race and apparently me driving like a granny because it took me a damn long time to get there, we arrived with plenty of time. We actually scored a free parking spot not far from the starting line and right in front of Clarity Realty and the Bridge Street Market and Teresa was super smart and said I bet there's no line for the bathroom at the market.  And you know what?  She was 100 percent correct so in a matter of minutes we had used the bathroom, changed our minds about our wardrobes and returned to the car for a few minor alterations and headed to bag check.  The bag check line was extremely long and Teresa still didn't have her running shoes on so I told her to hustle up and to prepare to ditch our bags if needed.  Surprisingly the bag line moved very quickly (like faster than I ran the marathon!) so while we listened to the distant National Anthem playing, we made it in time to ditch the bags with an actual volunteer and we jogged off toward the starting line.  Along the way, our luck continued and we found an "off the beaten path" porta john with no line so we did a final bathroom break and arrived at the start in time to learn we would be in the Will Ferrell Crew!  I made a joke about Old School, the pacers welcomed us to their squad, and we decided this was yet another sign of the amazing race to come...

Foolishly when the race started, we took off at a suicide rate (at least it was foolish for me. It worked out ok for Teresa so I guess it was just a good pace for her). I felt fine initially so I didn't know I was going too fast other than I was well in front of our pace group for at least 15 miles of the race.  I just thought I was being extra awesome!  Then near mile 20 I nearly died. At least it felt like what I imagine dying might feel. I felt nauseous, was sweating a lot, was lightheaded and in the words of Gary, "I felt like hot garbage".  For a short time, I just kept running as best as I could.  Like I actually wasn't sure I'd finish if things continued to deteriorate, but I was going to try my best to get there.  One thing I take pride in is that I have never not finished a race (yes I realize this is a double negative but in this instance it works).  About this time or around mile 22 ,I am not sure exactly when because I was busy almost dying, my guardian angel, Happy Mary, showed up and casually asked how things were going. Shitty. Things were going shitty, but I found myself being honest, but surprisingly not swearing. If ever there were a time for the F bomb this was it and instead I found myself saying, "Not very well".  She immediately started working to revive me and drag me to the finish. It was touch and go and there were several walking sessions mixed in with our ugly running bits, but we did it!  Not the sub 4 race I had hoped for, but 4:11:25 is respectable and way faster than my first marathon when I was much younger so there are definite positives to today's race.  

I was so cold after the race that I found myself wrapped in a foil blanket and wearing a pair of pants from the lost and found table while Teresa and Mary drank our beers!  

Teresa, Vern, Happy Mary (aka My Guardian Angel)

Walking to the restaurant for snacks so that I was functional enough to drive home. Like my new pants!?!

 About 7 pm I was finally recovered enough to have a celebratory glass of wine.  And about 7:30 our humongous chicken was finally perfectly roasted so we feasted on a delicious dinner!                                                                                

Ithaca FFA chicken for dinner! Thanks Mird and boys:)

Finish Line Photos!  

Grand Rapids Marathon October 15, 2023

PR for Teresa that girl is on fire!! Thanks for talking me into this race. Even though it was a rough one, and I wasn't able to run as much of it with you as I would have liked, I did finish it and I am feeling very blessed to share this experience with you!  Keep running strong, girl!

PS Mary you truly were my guardian angel today.  Thanks for caring for me, keeping me distracted with your stories, dressing me post race, and taking the time to show up!  It means the world to me.

PPS Anah and Don thanks for taking the time to come and cheer at the finish. I am certain you had to stand out there a lot longer than you planned on so thanks for the commitment to powering me to the finish. Oh and thanks for making it to see me look like hot garbage!  

Oh yeah, about the title Lucky Number 5--his was my 5th official marathon finish. I have run a few others as a bandit, or occasionally I might just keep running the whole marathon when I am the first leg of a relay, or sometimes when there's a pandemic I just make up a marathon and run it.  So if you count those instances, this was number 8!

Vern Out