Holy Toledo, A Christmas Miracle!

Just when I  had all but given up on Christmas Miracles, Toledo snuck up on me and it was a true Christmas Miracle indeed! I never thought I'd find myself driving all the way to Ohio just to run in some silly Santa themed virtual race, eat at a cheap diner, and shop at the Goodwill, but that's exactly what we did! And honestly, it was GLORIOUS and felt like a true miracle! Sometimes you justs have to cut loose, throw caution to the wind, and "run" with a crazy half cooked idea in order to feel alive and well. And that's exactly how we ended up in Toledo, Ohio, less than 24 hours after our Jingle Belle debut!  We may have gotten a little wild, and kicked our heals up ever so slightly, but we didn't catch "the Rona" and nobody had to bail us out of jail so I count it as a successful adventure!  It made my heart happy and offered a short reprieve from the reality of reality...

And oh boy did we had an adventure. It started as most grand adventures do at a ridiculously early hour of the day when normal people are sleeping.  Obviously, we are not normal.  It's true. We were not sleeping and most people would not describe us as "normal". That's because us Smiths are above average, not normal. I'm cool with this reality and I'm pretty sure Mird is too!

  

Most women would hide their early morning snapshots so that the world can't see their natural state, but us sisters, we believe in transparency. We believe in natural beauty--like neither of us actually owns any make-up, people--That's how committed we are to natural beauty...And just in case you were wondering, a 2.5 hour early morning car ride does nothing to improve appearances! Just sayin'!

When we pulled into the parking, lot just north of Toledo, I am certain we looked disheveled, confused, lost, and possibly wanted by the authorities. Yet despite all this, we managed to still look festive and we were definitely overflowing with jubilation and joy. Thankfully, I am like a bloodhound and can easily sniff out a runner from miles away through even the roughest terrain. As such, I immediately honed in on a group of suspected runners across the parking lot. After conferring with Courtney and Mird, I headed over to sniff their butts...I mean check out the competition.... actually just to inquire if they were indeed runners because we had no idea where the hell we were and we figured some running buddies would be a good idea to keep us from becoming eternally lost...I soon learned not only were they runners, but we had absolutely created the perfect, virtual, race, AND then we found the perfect, actual, real life runners for the perfect made up Run Santa Run Virtual 10K. It felt like those Choose Your Own Adventure Books I used to read.  I quickly provided our new friends with nicknames and they provided us with Chrismas music, jolly good cheer, and directions around the Wildwood  Preserve trail system. Soon we found ourselves dashing thru the woods with our lead elves, Holly and Buddy, a few of their closest running friends, and all of santa's reindeer (like for real there were a bunch of deer!)...

 Trail map as our back-up plan just in case our new friends ditched us...We wanted to be prepared for any scenario.

We had an adventure that felt like normal life. We even ate in a restaurant... A restaurant, where the server actually brings you coffee as our mom so eloquently put it when we later talked to her on the phone. And we got to sit down inside!  It felt like heaven, or maybe just life BC (Before Covid)! Either way it was pretty awesome!  Coffee, friends, and a quick trip to the goodwill were totally worth the drive.  Breakfast was served to us while we sat and chatted inside a cafe, lightheartedly gabbing and pretending like the crazy covid world didn't even exist. With joy in our hearts, we savoured every sip of that coffee and every morsel of our breakfast. We savoured it that is, until my phone rang and it was my husband who rather than answering with "good morning" or "hello, Honey" simply answered with an inquiry, "Are you in Ohio?!?" WTF!?!?! Oops I totally forgot to tell my husband about our last minute, hair brained, race adventure so I had to spill the beans, apologize for my oversight, and promise I'd be home for dinner! Thankfully I have a very forgiving husband and he just rolled with it...I am thankful for that!

A cheap cup of coffee and some hot breakfast to celebrate our race experience!

The best part of our dining experience was the fact that it happended, inside a restaurant, in 2020. More evidence of our Christmas miracle right!? The funniest part of our dining experience was when Mird said, "Don't worry, I won't tell her where we're from." We laughed for a long time about that one We might have been both a bit giddy and a tad paranoid in that moment, but it led to the scariest part of our dining experience, when I almost died. Like legit; I almost choked to death on a small piece of eggs that became wedged in my windpipe causing me to not be able to breathe and to have a coughing fit of monumental length and volume.  This all resulted because I was laughing so hard at Mird's comment about our place of origin.  Given that it's 2020 and Covid crazy people exist everywhere, it was not great timing for my near death coughing fit. I had to excuse myself and go to the bathroom to cough privately for about 20 minutes. I'm pretty sure the server thought we were crazy, or that I had Covid, or both!! So we dined, dashed and headed next door to the Goodwill in search of an Ohio race shirt.

Speaking of bathrooms another memorable part of this race were the restrooms. While typically race bathrooms are memorable for not so good reasons, Ohio was the converse. Typical race bathrooms are notoriously disgusting and sinister and are avoided at all costs.  In Ohio, however, we were "blown away" by the bathrooms and it wasn't the "shitter was full"  type of blown away, but a lovely blown away experience that truly knocked our socks off. The bathrooms were Churchill Downs themed, pristinely clean, and all toilets were fully flushable!  Yes, These bathrooms blew us away in a totally positive way! Check it out! It was so COOL!

  

 These are the actual bathroom stalls at the park we raced in!  Seriously. It looks like a horse stable, but it's just a restroom! The Best Race Bathrooms EVER by a landslide!! I could've hung out in these bathrooms all day checking out the difference horses on each stall, but we had more adventuring to do so off we ran!

Vern Mird and Courtney--Pre race photo OHIO December 13, 2020

State Number 15? Maybe or 16 or 14 I have no idea...

 It's 2020,  I never even know what day it is, let alone any other details!

We searched every nook and cranny of that Goodwill for an Ohio Race shirt. But we failed. We almost left empty-handed, until I spotted this beer pint. It was the perfect Race swag from the Goodwill and the Perfect ending to our adventure!  You see, we grew up in Fremont, Michigan and the glass is from Fremont, Ohio which is a mere 20 minutes from where we ran! See what I mean, perfect!

When we got into Ohio, my phone camera was not really cooperating the best, but I think this says "Ohio, Find it here." Tip Number 219 Don't ask Mird to read anything for you while driving; She recently failed a vision screening for her DOT exam and had to get glasses... which she refuses to wear. Our standards are very low though because we still let her drive the entire time and she didn't even bring her glasses along for the journey!  Further proof of our low standards is the fact that I was allowed to drive after Ragnar in West Virginia. That decision nearly cost us our lives.

We danced in the gas station for our race after party! Yes, we've got wicked moves, thanks for noticing! And then we drove home.  I know kind of an anticlimatic ending, but that's how it went down and we believe in telling the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help us God.

 

Vern out and Mird too! Merry Christmas to All and to All a Good Night! I guess actually Happy New Year to all! Where has the time gone!?!?